I don’t know how these celebrities do it day in and day out. How they can take on so much and still keep going is a mystery and a sense of wonder to me. As you can see by the photo from an article in the New York Times, Yoko Ono attended a party in September in honor of Lady Gaga’s perfume. Lady Gaga is a songwriter/performer of world renown, constantly touring and shopping for non clothing products to wear as clothing and yet has the generosity of spirit to honor one of her bottles of perfume. I can’t imagine throwing a party for a consumable product but I can pretend to understand the motivation because a celebrity was involved.
I do know that people from all walks of life love their possessions, so sure!, what better way to let the product know it’s appreciated I guess, then by writing a huge check for hundreds of thousands of dollars, lining up a caterer, a decorator, the press and inviting Yoko Ono over. And a few men without shirts. Isn’t that wild! The men must have been invited at the last minute. That just sounds Lady Gagaesque, does it not! I’d like to think they were showering at the gym when Lady Gaga catwalked in and just like that, said, “Gentlemen. I am having a party for my perfume. Drop what you are doing this very instant and follow me.” Could you imagine something like that happening to you? It’s like something right out of Cinderella but without amiable and dexterous rodents helping you to get ready!
I would have never had the sense of purpose and dedication Lady Gaga has to throw a massive party for one of her bottles of perfume and I say this with no small degree of shame, because after seeing what she pulled off, I feel that much worse that I can’t even organize a birthday party for members of my immediate family on time. My daughter’s eighth birthday party was actually celebrated on her 11th and when she found out there were 365 days in a year and not 1,095, I had to deal with a lot of trust issues.
What really has my curiosity on high alert is how did Lady Gaga select a single item as the main event for this party? She must have so many things, how do you select just one?
Putting myself in her shoes for a moment (and wouldn’t that be something!) I have a lot of flannel shirts I absolutely adore but maybe because I don’t have a celebrity’s sense of what really matters, I couldn’t conceive of throwing a party for just one of them while leaving the rest in the closet. It would have to be a group affair or nothing for me. There’d have to be a dais for all of my flannel shirts like on the Dean Martin Celebrity Roast. That was a good program. Foster Brooks. He cracked me up. Always drunk but never forgot his lines. Probably why they kept having him back. He was a professional even though he drank like a fish. Lot’s of other celebrities phone it in these days when they’re on talk shows and stuff and they don’t even drink.
Anyway, we’ve been through thick and thin those shirts and me. A lot of raking, painting, cleaning up sheds, dog walking, things like that. Couldn’t recognize just one at a party; I’d never be able to look at myself in the mirror wearing the other shirts again, unless the one that had the party thrown for it was in the hamper and I had nothing else to wear but even then I’d probably take it out if my wife didn’t catch me doing it. Be hell to pay there. Literally. It’s actually in the pre-nup she made me sign – I’m forbidden to wear clothes that are dirty or already in the hamper. It has nothing to do with money, that pre-nup, pretty much the whole thing centers around hygiene related behavior and never dancing in public.
Anyway, I read the entire article from top to bottom and it was really more about Yoko Ono’s decision to become a clothing designer than it was about Lady Gaga’s party. That was unfortunate because I would love to know how Lady Gaga selected one bottle of perfume from her medicine cabinet and left the others at home. It’s just nagging at me and I don’t think I can show up for work until I get to the bottom of this. What criteria did she use? Was this the first time she threw a party for an inanimate object? Had she ever had a black tie affair in honor of a condiment or an appliance? Can you imagine Yoko Ono at a Party for Lady Gaga’s Bottle of French’s Yellow Mustard? Or Lady Gaga’s George Foreman Grill? I can. Wish she’d invite me. I wouldn’t try to dance or anything.
© 2012 The Monkey Bellhop and John Hartnett