Want to See A Movie This Weekend?
by John Hartnett and the Monkey Bellhop ©2013
From The Desolation of Smaug,
A Hobbit emerges from Inside Llewyn Davis
Out of the Furnace, All is Lost
Catching Fire, only to be Frozen in
The Dark World until
Thor and Tyler Perry enter that
Silent Night, Deadly Night to pick up a quart of milk and
maybe a 100 watt bulb from The Dallas Buyers Club
Saving Mr. Banks, the Delivery Man, the trouble of dropping it off himself
but missing out on a tip
Enjoy The Best Man Holiday, Mr. Banks!
Enjoy your Madea Christmas, Mr. Banks!
With Philomena, The Book Thief, and Captain Phillips, he, no! who! anyway
this is not about grammar!
He who is
12 Years a Slave to Blue Jasmine, a perfume that makes his dog, Oldboy,
but yet makes Captain Phillips
As if he soars beyond the laws of Gravity and if he’s lucky Sandra Bullock
But what of us? Staring at the white expanse, another 12 Years a Slave to a $12 container of popcorn
Made 12 Years ago
Is there nothing to see without going to New York or one of those small, hip arty towns where people can just tell you don’t live there? Seriously. I’m asking.
We turn our backs on Captain Phillips, running as fast as we can
BUT TO WHAT END?
Only to find him Saving Mr. Banks and sometimes Peter Scolari?
Yes, abandon the Homefront, forsake our Nebraska, which has not arrived in NJ anyway
For Las Vegas
Last Vegas, because that is the name of another movie and because Last Vegas is the heart of
The Hunger Games
Las Vegas offers an extraordinarily large selection of inexpensive, yet relatively decent quality, all you can eat buffets and picking the right one can be kind of like a game
(imagine smiley face here because I don’t know how to put one in)
— awful poetry for a (mostly) awful movie weekend in suburban new jersey