The Monkey Bellhop Receives Liebster Award, Blows Prize Money on Becoming Ted Talk Expert

liebster award, john hartnett, ted talkLast Friday,  I was at the NY Giant’s personnel offices in the middle of a job interview associated with their “If You Can Wear a Helmet and Run Straight, The Giants Want to Talk To You!” event, when my iPhone buzzed as it does whenever there is something absolutely urgent for me to be made aware, like how things are going between Jimmy Kimmel and Kanye West and lo and behold, it was a tweet from Jeri-Walker Bickett informing me that this blog, The Monkey Bellhop, had been awarded a Liebster!

Needless to say I stood up and excused myself from the interview and told the HR lady they’d have to get somebody else to play offensive line but if they couldn’t, to call me Wednesday but not during “Nashville”.  To be honest, I was really more interested in the quarterback gig anyway.

Jeri herself has received two Liebsters for the work she’s done on What Do I Know? A Twisted Book Blog.  It’s no wonder.  Jeri is a gifted author, editor, book reviewer and all around publishing pro and our paths had crossed earlier this year when she interviewed me about my book, “The Barber’s Conundrum and Other Stories“, which is currently number one on the Amazon.  Not the website, the river.  Apparently my book’s dimensions make it perfect for being lashed to wooden stick and used to repel piranha.  Yes, I know a sale’s a sale but try walking into your bank and asking what the exchange rate is for 1,500 taxidermied crocodiles.

Any way, thank you for the recognition and the nomination, Jeri, it’s greatly appreciated!

What is the Liebster Award?

Liebster AwardGood question.  The idea behind this award is to recognize new bloggers and help them get some buzz and promote their blogs. It’s a sign of recognition, and it can pretty much mean what you want it to mean, the same way people interpret their responsibilities when elected to Congress.

If you’ve been nominated for the Liebster Award and accept it, you need to follow a few rules.

  1. Write a blog post about the Liebster Award.
  2. Thank the person that nominated you.
  3. Post a link to their blog on your blog.
  4. Display the award on your blog and include it in your post and/or display it using a widget.
  5. Answer the 11 questions about yourself provided by the person who nominated you.
  6. Give 11 random facts about yourself.
  7. Nominate 5-11 blogs that you feel deserve the award, who have less than 1000 followers.
  8. Create a new list of questions for the nominated bloggers to answer.
  9. List the rules in your post.
  10. Inform the bloggers you’ve nominated them for the Liebster Award. Remember to give them a link to your post so that they can learn about it (they might not have ever heard of it!).

Note that you can nominate someone who has been given the Liebster Award already, as long as they have less than 1000 followers/subscribers.

11 Questions from the Person Who Nominated Me, Jeri Webb:

1.  Who has been the most positive influence in your life?  My father has been the most positive influence.  Great sense of humor, ethical, selfless, always there in times of need and someone who has consistently demonstrated kindness and empathy for others.   He also made sure I knew who the Marx Brothers long before I could even escape from my crib.

2.  What was your most memorable Halloween costume?  When I dressed up as a calf and my own daughter didn’t recognize me. calf3.  When do you write best? Mornings, afternoons, evenings?  Mornings.  Before I know I’m awake.

4.  Where did you go on your favorite vacation?  Ireland, and it wasn’t just because my kids didn’t go.                                           ireland, author john hartnett, barber's conundrum and other stories5.  Why is reality TV so popular? Because if you doze off during the middle of the program, you don’t feel you missed anything when you wake up.

6.  How do you relax? I raise clay pigeons and keep them in kilns on the roof of my apartment building in Hoboken.

7.  Which work of art most inspires you? Rodin’s “The Thinker”.  Whenever I see that sculpture I say to myself, “How can someone do that?” And by that I mean, think.

8.  Could you live without electricity? No.  Unless I was on death row.  Then I don’t think I would miss it at all.

9.  Are you afraid of the dark? Only when I hear a voice I don’t recognize telling me to go toward the light.

10.  Can you honestly say you’ve never stolen anything? I don’t feel comfortable answering that question but if you are ever in need of soy sauce packets, I have 12,000 in my pantry.

11.  What song lyrics strike you as hauntingly beautiful?  “And the Witchita lineman is still on the line”.  I cry every time I hear it because here’s a guy with major issues with his lady friend and he’s working ridiculously long hours to keep the phone lines open for the rest of us, not realizing that 99% of the country has cell phones and would understand if he had to climb down for a couple of hours to see if he could patch things up and if that wasn’t bad enough, he doesn’t even have time to take a small vacation.   It’s as beautiful as it is sad.

11 Random Liebster Facts about John Hartnett

  1. I will never refer to an orange by its name and will only point to it and make an eating motion by repeatedly bringing my hand to my mouth until the person I am with hands it to me or leaves the room in a fit of rage.
  2. There is no “I” in Hartnett but there are three of the letters required to spell the word “Team”.  Some people would say the word “team” is 1/4 empty because of the missing “m” but I prefer to say the word “team” is 3/4 spelled.
  3. I have always been jealous of people who don’t need to repeatedly check the number the front desk clerk wrote down on their room key envelope before getting on the elevator.
  4. For some reason, it is the actor Jeff Goldblum who persuades me to keep an open mind about the possibility of extraterrestrial life.
  5. I once won a second place ribbon for correctly guessing 478 of the 512 ingredients found in hot dogs.
  6. The woman I desired the most in all the James Bond films was Miss Moneypenny.  I used to spend all my days after school locked in my room fantasizing about her typing all my papers for me because I was like an 18 words a minute guy.
  7. One night before going to bed, I accidentally set my iPhone compass instead of my alarm clock and woke up in Ecuador.
  8. While I will never repeat this in public, correctly sorting the laundry for a wife and two daughters is much harder than performing brain surgery.
  9. I believe this whole Internet thing is a fad.
  10. I live in NJ and plan to move the moment they announce that the entire state has been paved.
  11. I know how to levitate but have only done it once because I don’t believe it’s polite to show off.

My Liebster Blog Nominees

  1. Selena Robins for Selena Robins Musings
  2. Pieter from Ah Dad…
  3. Cathy Cantu’s Five Minutes for the Frazzled Mom
  4. Umashankar Pandey’s One Grain Amongst the Sand
  5. Robb Lightfoot’s Or So It Seems…
  6. Juliet from Vampire Maman
  7. Annie Boreson for Annie Off Leash

My Liebster Blog Award Questions

  1. If you were alone on a desert island and could get out of your wireless phone contract without any penalties, which carrier would you pick?
  2. What is more frightening?  Waking up and finding a spider on your pillow or waking up and finding you are married to Larry King?
  3. If you could be in two places at once where would you be? (please don’t answer two places at once)
  4. If you could have dinner with anyone living or dead who would it be?
  5. If you could have dinner with anyone living or dead what would you order?
  6. Do you think I dress appropriately for my age?
  7. What was the scariest moment of your life?
  8. Are you a dog person or a cat person? (and by that I am referring to pet preference not genetics)
  9. Do you think the Chicago Cubs will win the World Series in your lifetime and if not your lifetime, whose lifetime?
  10. Robert Frost advised us to “take the road less traveled.”  Do you agree and if so, is it because the police are looking for you?
  11. If you caught a fish who granted you three wishes if you let it go, but at that very moment,  a starving leprechaun appeared and told you he would give you a pot of unlimited gold for the fish, which appliance in your house could you not possibly live without?

24 thoughts on “The Monkey Bellhop Receives Liebster Award, Blows Prize Money on Becoming Ted Talk Expert”

  1. Congrats to you, John. You are one funny guy. Loved learning a little more about you. Can I borrow that Halloween calf costume? I’d put it on and strut down Hollywood and Vine…maybe attach a food bag for tips.

  2. OMG, I am so honored. I know I barely qualified for the award on account of my 997 followers, and as I’m typing this I probably got 3 more, but thank you for creating buzz for me anyway. Right now I’ve never felt more proud, except that time I got in the top ten of the Little Miss Whitetail (the deer, ok?) pageant in Fort Deer Lick Junction. I am definitely going to pass it forward and follow the rules, but right now I’ve got to put up my Halloween decorations that no one cares about—probably around happy hour.
    BTW – LOVED this post! “If they can’t find anybody else, call you Wed, but not during “Nashville.” 🙂

    1. Cathy, the Halloween decorations thing sounds like the episode in the Modern Family where Claire is the only one who loves going all out. If you’ve never seen it, Google it or whatever it is people do to see anything they want any time they want it regardless of when it was made, or whether you’re supposed to pay for it. Love your blog and congratulations on your Liebster and winning the Miss Whitetail pageant. I think I caught some of it on ESPN 14.

  3. Funny stuff! Congratulations on your award and for nominating my blog. I am honored. 🙂 Are you going to model your wardrobe for us and upload it as a slideshow, so we can tell you if you dress appropriately for your age?

    Continued best wishes with your excellent book! Your sense of humor shines through, and I strongly recommend that all your blog followers pick up the book. 🙂

    1. No modeling for me, Selena. I was only on the runway once in my life and I walked into a plane propeller which thankfully wasn’t spinning. Thanks for the book plug as well! Some good news to report. Thanks to the 60 5-star reviews on Amazon, it’s just been optioned by Ikea to be used as a prop in their bookcase department. I couldn’t be more excited!

    1. Thank you, Ned. I was a much smaller man back then thanks to my daily ritual of eating only sunflower seeds and wrapping myself in wet sheets and sitting in the hit sun until my body shrunk to a comfortable 3/4 scale of my former self.

  4. John, I am overwhelmed to be chosen and put in such exalted company. I am thrilled, and grateful.

    I was blown away by those answers and facts about you and feel a bit intimidated too by all that wit and humour but that is how you write all the time! I thank you profusely and request to be granted time to prepare a face to meet the faces that I meet….

    Best Wishes.

  5. Hi John, I’m speechless, so just hold on for a minute or so… …. …. …. ….

    Ok, the shock and surprise finally settled and has been replaced with gratitude. This is a huge honour, especially getting recognition from a published writer with a shit load of followers. One day when I’m all grown up…

    Thanks again for the mention, and I’m busy compiling me ‘pay-it-forward” thingy and will let you know when it’s going live.

    By the way, I’ve always wanted to shoot clay pigeons, we should hook up, unless you’re emotionally attach to them.

    1. Hi Pieter, well deserved. As for the clay pigeons, I don’t shoot them. I paint all of them white and rent them out to newlyweds who like to set them free after they get married, which in writing this down, is more ironic then I realized…

  6. Congrats on the Liebster Award! You have a great sense of humor and deserfve it. As for the calf outfit it’s a good thing you didn’t end up as veal cutlets!

    1. Phil, do you remember the Woody Allen routine where he was driving to a costume party and on the way he hit a moose and not knowing what to do, he tied it to the roof of his car? Brings the moose to the party, it’s mingling, having a good time and then meets a couple dressed as a moose and they get into it, lock antlers in the living room until somebody breaks it up and at the end when they have a contest for the best costume, the moose comes in second behind the couple dressed as a moose.

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