How much does your dog know about you?

Answer-Questions-Monday

Today’s question comes from Roger Skeet of Prairie Heights, Hawaii.    Roger asks, “Whenever I eat ice cream right out of the container,  it seems as if my dog, Peaches, disapproves of my actions and looks at me condescendingly.  Is this possible or is it all in my head?”

Photo by Mariano Szklanny via Wikimedia Commons

Thank you for your question this week, Roger.  It is a perplexing one since I don’t know you or Peaches personally and am therefore unable to have a clear understanding of the dynamics of your relationship.   That said, I’m willing to render my opinion anyway because very few people visit my blog and the risk of being told I’m completely off my rocker on this topic is very low.

Judging from the photograph you took of Peaches while eating your ice cream from the container and I’m going to assume over the kitchen sink,  I would surmise that Peaches is a very intelligent dog and a judgmental one at that.   Her stern countenance indicates that she is quite capable of holding a grudge or showing disappointment in a master who is clearly hell bent on binging himself right into the hereafter one half gallon at a time.

I once had an ice cream “problem” myself, Roger, and in retrospect, I’m glad I didn’t have a dog because I think the silent recrimination would be harder to bear than just having my kids come in, see me finishing off a pint of ice cream and shout, “Would it kill you to save a little something for the rest of us?”  With kids, it’s easy to get the upper hand.  You can just threaten to take away their iPod, iPad, iPhone whatevers and they fold like a house of cards.  Dogs?  They’re loyal; they have integrity and only want to serve their masters.

It’s unfortunate that there isn’t a way to vote dogs into Congress because I strongly believe this country would be in much better shape –with the only possible exception being the inevitable repeal of that law requiring rear car windows to only go down halfway in order to prevent children from falling out.

My advice to you is to lay off the ice cream, Roger and when the craving strikes, instead of reaching for a large wooden spoon and the freezer door,  reach for Peaches’ leash instead and take her for a long, leisurely stroll where you can reconnect and win back the respect your dog once had for you.

However, and this is a last ditch effort, mind you,  if you find your craving is too much to overcome, consider doubling your weekly ice cream order and giving half of it to Peaches.  If she jumps right in, chances are your relationship will improve dramatically, although you both might have trouble sleeping at night.  If she doesn’t,  get that dog on the ballot somewhere.  This country needs Peaches a lot more than you do.

© 2013 The Monkey Bellhop and John Hartnett

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