Friday Weekend’s “One Size Fits All Horoscope”, June 28, 2013

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Another scorcher in NJ today.  I was getting out of the car and happened to see the mailman and my neighbor’s German Shepard, Lance,  giving each other the evil eye and then they both said, “Whatever” at the exact same time and went their separate ways.  I don’t know the exact temperature but if it helps, it’s a “I don’t have the energy to tear a hole in your pants, you don’t have the energy to dig out your can of mace” kind of hot.

As we speak, the moon is lined up with Chiron and that magical connection will help you to forgive friends and family for past slights, real or imagined this weekend.  I don’t believe it’s healthy to carry grudges, regardless,  but if you do, always remember to lift with your knees and not your back.

Personally, I have never had a problem holding grudges against people.  Not because I am enlightened and have transcended petty human emotions and feelings.  It’s because my memory’s awful.  There are people I run into who were members of my own wedding party and because I can’t readily recall their first names, I have to hide behind trees or buildings until they pass by.   So remembering who I’m mad at would be a blessing. Sad, isn’t it?  “The Boy Who Couldn’t Hold a Grudge”.  A very special Afternoon Special this Tuesday on ABC.

Well, it’s getting late and I know you need to prepare for the weekend astrologically speaking so here’s a quick list:

Make sure you don’t swallow any watermelon pits due to the gravitational pull of Mars which is particularly heavy this year due to the planet’s inability to stick to a daily exercise regimen.

Don’t listen to a word your GPS tells you until 6:47 pm, Saturday (Eastern time).  The same gravitational pull from Mars will create electromagnetic waves that will cause your navigational system to believe you are driving in Quebec.

If you receive a complement from someone this weekend, be sure to return it.  Everyone likes to believe they look terrific so stick with that as a topic and simply return the complement with something along the lines of, “Thank you.  I was just about to tell you how great you look!”  Don’t get into the open ended questions, like “Who did your eyes?”

This is a good weekend to start new projects but don’t bite off more than you can chew.  If it turns out that one of your tools is missing because the person you lent it to never returned it, try to the best of your ability to forget that person’s name.

Have a great weekend!

© 2013 The Monkey Bellhop and John Hartnett

7 thoughts on “Friday Weekend’s “One Size Fits All Horoscope”, June 28, 2013”

  1. Personally, I have never had a problem holding grudges against people. Not because I am enlightened and have transcended petty human emotions and feelings. It’s because my memory’s awful.” I can so identify with that, John! You are the voice of Delphi!

    1. Thanks, Uma! And give my best to Delphi. Tell him he still owes me $3.00 for that hot dog I bought him at the Monster Track Rally in Englishtown Raceway when he “came up a little short”.

  2. Hi John, scorcher here too. Not healthy to carry grudges, agreed. Better to have some wine and play some music (and with enough wine, you’ll forget why you wanted to hold a grudge in the first place!). Appreciate that tip about not asking people, “Who did your eyes.” LOL! Oh yeah, that question is way too open-ended. Love the wrap-up about forgetting the name of the person who never returned your tools, which takes us right back to why we shouldn’t hold grudges. Hope your weekend was fabulous!

  3. Same here in NYC so that’s why I am staying indoors and seeing movies in the cold AC!

    Holding grudges takes up too much energy in life. Just move on.

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