Sometimes I wonder what it would be like to be married to Willie Nelson. I absolutely adore his music and believe he is a nice and gentle person and still very good looking, even at his advanced age. But I have to tell you, the image of going into the bathroom every morning and having to remove his hair from the shower drain just pops the whole bubble.
- I just found a book I literally could not put down. The glue from the spine leaked through the cover and the damned thing fused to my hand. 2 days ago
- The White Light People See When They Die wp.me/p2ySS-Is via @wordpressdotcom It's real. 3 days ago
- North Korea should fire their social networking guy. I haven't heard a word about them dropping a bomb on anyone for at least a month now. 3 days ago
- "Would you mind checking again?" -- Dr. Joyce Brothers, after being informed by St. Peter that Dr. Ruth is still alive and living in NYC. 4 days ago
- Couldn't locate a matching blue sock today but while rummaging through my drawers I found a reason to keep living underneath an old t-shirt. 4 days ago
- #igetannoyedwhenpeople breathe while I'm trying to take selfies. 4 days ago
- "What an ego." Wooden stockade fence visiting the Great Wall of China for the first time. 5 days ago
- It's easy to be cynical in this day and age, but I believe everyone has some good in them. And by good, I'm referring to "good cholesterol". 5 days ago
- Only a matter of time. ow.ly/i/26wVu 6 days ago
- I can't wait to see the new #Star Trek movie. No wait, I meant go to bed. 6 days ago
John Hartnett and the Monkey Bellhop
I've always depended upon the kindness of strangers because as long as you don't know their names or where they live, you never have to spend money on thank you notes or gifts. Not much to tell, really. When I was born, my parents placed me in a small wooden boat and pushed me out into the center of the Pulaski Skyway where I was rescued and ultimately raised by a pair of opposums. Sadly, they died when I was very young. At least I think they died. From there I joined the Merchant Marines and was the only toddler in World War II to sink a Japanese battleship while being burped. When I returned to the states, I got a job at Gimbels Department Store and have been there ever since even though they went out of business in 1986. I have always valued loyalty over money and if that's wrong, talk to my wife. You'd get along famously.