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John Hartnett and the Monkey Bellhop
The Monkey Bellhop is the comedy entertainment destination for some of the world's most well known celebrities, captains of industry, political figures, dictators, fashion designers, professional athletes and select members of the UA Pipe Fitters Local 246. They come to my site to laugh, forget their cares and worries and virtually put their feet up on my virtual coffee table and matching ottoman. As for me, I've always depended upon the kindness of strangers because as long as you don't know their names or where they live, you never have to spend money on thank you notes or gifts. Not much more to tell, really, but since you're still here... When I was born, my parents placed me in a small wooden boat and pushed me out into the center of the Pulaski Skyway where I was rescued and ultimately raised by a pair of opposums. Sadly, they died when I was very young. At least I think they died. From there I joined the Merchant Marines and was the only toddler in World War II to sink a Japanese battleship while being burped. When I returned to the states, I got a job at Gimbels Department Store and have been there ever since even though they went out of business in 1986. I have always valued loyalty over money and if that's wrong, talk to my wife. You'd get along famously.